We all come to these moments in our lives where things are changing. This can be forced upon us suddenly with the loss of a loved one or a job opportunity that we weren’t looking for. Or it can be a slow process of inner unrest that leads us to eventually make that move to a new chapter of our lives.
There are times where everything and everyone around us feels in transition and it moves us along with it. Then there are the times where everything feels just as it should and we are thrown into a transition seemingly by ourselves.
I have learned a few things about change that I have found invaluable for myself, my clients and anyone who cares to listen. Not that anything makes change easier, but there are ways to thrive on the other side of change rather than letting change destroy us.
- We cannot predict the future. Imagining the “what if’s” will happen, but will be wasted energy. When things change it starts an unraveling and rebuilding that we cannot even imagine in our current moment. Be curious about the future rather than trying to control it.
- When we are in a transition, we often feel we won’t make it. Know that a year from now, things will not be the same as they are now. Things will be different. If you are in a difficult transition, hold on tight and recognize that you will not be experiencing and feeling things the same when you get down the road from where you are now.
- If someone you know is going through a transition, just hold the space for them. You can’t fix their situation and you can’t put them back together if they are in pieces. You can just hold space for them wherever they are. It helps to do this for yourself, too. Give yourself permission to be unsettled, lost, in pieces, whatever it is you are feeling.
- Know that every experience truly does teach us. Experiences that feel difficult will teach us the most, even if they create grief at the same time.
- Sadness, grief, anxiety…..all of the feelings we don’t like to feel are just that: feelings. Feelings are so powerful! But they cannot truly hurt us, even when it feels like they are tearing us apart. Allow yourself to feel those feelings, use your supports to survive those feelings, and don’t be afraid to give yourself a break from those feelings by doing the things that you love.
You will make it through your transition. Just put on your seatbelt and notice the scenery!